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Field notes

The dig-site diary of Useless

Useless is the network’s eraser-in-residence. After a stint at the T. rex dig, it has been moved to the Triceratops quarry, still in a hard hat, still told not to touch anything. Every fact in here has been checked by someone more qualified, i.e. anyone.

Useless, a pink-and-blue eraser with googly eyes
  1. Day 1

    Moved from the T. rex dig to the Triceratops dig. Same hard hat. Three times as many horns to not touch. Natural History Museum: Triceratops (Dino Directory)

  2. Day 2

    Triceratops means “three-horned face”. I have a two-tone face. Nobody has named a dinosaur after me yet. I’m keeping the hard hat on just in case. Natural History Museum: Triceratops (Dino Directory)

  3. Day 3

    Marsh first thought the horns came from a giant bison. In fairness, I once thought a bus stop was a very tall friend. Natural History Museum: Triceratops (Dino Directory)

  4. Day 4

    A baby Triceratops skull was about 38 cm long. I’m 5 cm long. I measured twice. Still 5. Horner & Goodwin (2006), Major cranial changes during Triceratops ontogeny, Proc. R. Soc. B

  5. Day 5

    Baby brow horns started as stubs 3.5 cm tall. My horns are imaginary and I’d like them to stay that way. Horner & Goodwin (2006), Major cranial changes during Triceratops ontogeny, Proc. R. Soc. B

  6. Day 6

    The Smithsonian says Triceratops had up to 800 teeth. I have none, and I still spend ages at the dentist’s waiting room. Moral support. Smithsonian Magazine: Meet the dinos of “Deep Time”, 2019

  7. Day 7

    Its teeth wore themselves into sharp slicing blades. I wear myself down too. Nobody calls me a blade. They call me “smaller”. Erickson et al. (2015), Wear biomechanics in the slicing dentition of Triceratops, Science Advances

  8. Day 8

    Hatcher the Triceratops was built from 10 different animals. I’m built from one rubber and some optimism. Smithsonian Voices (NMNH): An elegy for Hatcher the Triceratops, 2018

  9. Day 9

    In 1996 a piece of Hatcher’s pelvis fell off in front of a visitor. I lost a corner on a staple in 2019. I understand. Smithsonian Voices (NMNH): An elegy for Hatcher the Triceratops, 2018

  10. Day 10

    Triceratops was named in 1889 and Torosaurus in 1891, so if they’re the same animal, Triceratops keeps the name. First come, first named. I came first in a queue once. Got nothing. Smithsonian Magazine: Relax, Triceratops really did exist, 2010

  11. Day 11

    One healed fossil shows Triceratops survived having a horn bitten off by a T. rex. I panic if someone borrows my pencil. Natural History Museum: Triceratops (Dino Directory)

  12. Day 12

    Triceratops is South Dakota’s state fossil. I applied to be the Isle of Man’s state eraser. Still waiting for a reply. South Dakota Codified Law 1-6-16.1: State fossil

  13. Day 13

    Triceratops remains are usually found on their own. Me too. Pencil cases are crowded and somebody always leaks. Natural History Museum: Triceratops (Dino Directory)

  14. Day 14

    It isn’t related to rhinos. They just look alike. People say I look like a sweet. I am not related to sweets. Please stop. Natural History Museum: Triceratops (Dino Directory)

  15. Day 15

    Its skin had large, pebbled scales. My skin has a smudge from Tuesday. Equally scientific. Natural History Museum: Triceratops (Dino Directory)

  16. Day 16

    Brow horns curved backwards in juveniles and forwards in adults. My hair also does this, depending on the wind. Horner & Goodwin (2006), Major cranial changes during Triceratops ontogeny, Proc. R. Soc. B